Fear

Fear is swirling in the air with the yellow leaves around the yard. Fear chills the back of my neck whenever I am reminded that time is ticking and the bank account is emptying. Everything happens for a reason - usually a good, grand-designed reason. Fear must be a byproduct of doubt. Unless it is a flight-or-fight, charging bull fear, it's only manufactured by my logic brain. My practical brain. The part of my brain that likes to reassure my family that we will not be lacking for long. I'm selling bogus hope to hang on to real hope. Blindly reaching for the next rope. It's there somewhere, right?

Got Strength?

I am a fan of strengths. I hope that I always tried to tap into my staff's strenghs. I hope that I tried to identify and work with others'. Mine are:

Strategic

Learner

Input

Connectedness

Significance

I thought that these, for the most part, sounded familiar and that they complimented me. I even wrote a paper about how I had the perfect job to accent them. Turns out that I worked for people who didn't understand how to strategically plan or follow through, My input fell on deaf ears, I did not feel connected to anyone in the end (except for people who used to work for me), and, ironically, they kept telling me that I ran a significant project, but clearly I was not taken seriously. I was hurt, sad, and mad. 
And here I sit.
Did my strengths work against me? Really, If I didn't have to have my head in the plan and feel important about it, would I still have a job?
 << sigh >>
So it's up to me to make these strenghts work for me now.
<< huh >>
Have you inventoried your strengths? I've seen people put them on their resumes (I don't really recommend that),  an indication that everyone seems to be talking in Tom Rath's language. Any Maximizers out there? Wooers?  I could stand to hear from a Empathyer about now.



Woman Found Passed Out in Pile of Boxes

Did I mention that I came home that snowy, blurry day with eleven boxes to unpack? After awhile, I rummaged  through and took out what I thought I'd need - a photo of my kid, a packet of coffee filters, random office supplies that made their way into my possession -  and compressed the rest of the "work related stuff I might need when my career picks up again" into four boxes in the garage.
I wonder... what if the next career job doesn't come? What if I develop a plan b that includes transition time with a part-time job and time to write? Yeah, like a writer (of more than a blog) would?
What will the day look like when I do open those four boxes? A day of excitement as I decorate my new office at my new job? What if it's a day of unbearable defeat as I look at useless tokens of what I once was?
How long can I ignore those boxes before they chase me in my dreams?

Beginning

Ahh, a day to recognize labor.  Important history goes into today, but, really,  we know exactly what to day is all about, eh? Some work, most don't. Some even get paid for having Labor Day off. Some  plan picnics or other late summertime hurrahs. Some shop. Some nap. Some pack up their white shoes. Some buy school supplies.
I don't think that Hallmark has picked up on any labor-day themed greeting cards. But it is a gift-giving holiday, is it not? We give ourselves a break. A rest from the usual. Some find that easy to do, some find it challenging.
Tomorrow is the beginning of fall in a way, the beginning of new routines. I have one: I will light a candle and pray before I apply for jobs. Happy new routine to you!

Wardrobe Personalities

I used to heed that advice, "act like you are going to work". So, the work clothes and shoes should remain in the forefront of my closet, right? I grew tired of being in between wardrobe identities. Well, a few months ago, I decided to let my closet, shoe pile, dresser, and handbag collection reflect the current state of affairs, I'm a no-make-up-wearing mom in the summer and I will see you at the grocery store in lounge wear!
Well, now that fall is in the air, it's time to make that natural wardrobe shift into long sleeves. This means no new heels, no new blouses, no new dress pants. I am entering another season of unemployment clothes - wow.

Resume the Resume Rumba

I used to design resumes for a living. Now I'm questioning mine. dammit. I know, I should keep it fresh, keep refining. It's bad enough I tweak it for each job I am applying for. Okay, okay, I will glance at some resume tips, but I will not spend more than a half-day's time re-working it!