End in Order to Begin?

After eight months of idleness, I have logged on with the intent of posting a goodbye explanation and shutting down EMPLOYdom. You see, one remains stuck if one holds on to the past. My life will not move 100% forward if the negativity on this blog remains in my realm. Right?

Then I looked at what I created. I put a ton of time into this. As I move on with my pursuit to be a published author, I am busy installing websites and planning tweets. I am clicking and composing and editing.  Do I really want to engage in undoing?

We all know that my name is not Moxie. As I build momentum for publishing, my identity is out there. How would I go about bringing creative attention to this site without revealing the characters mentioned here? (And ruffling feathers that might breed trouble? )

Do I wrap up EMPLOYdom with a short  OPRAH-style exit of a positive mission-carrying-out speech or do I allow mopey Moxie to weigh down my future by dimming my optimism?
Advice? Anyone? Anyone?

Happy Boss's Day!

I should have known something was up when, last year, my boss didn't seem to care much about the Boss's Day card I gave her,and my staff forgot to give one to me. This day used to be fun! Funny card, maybe a lunch or even office supply shenanigans. I guess that I am my own boss now. Shall I tell myself how great I am? How caring, fun, understanding and just plain nice? Your Welcome.

Unemployed and "At Your Service!"

Before unemployment, I was a volunteer for two different organizations. I noticed some volunteers treated it like a job. I did not. Now I can see where volunteering can call you to put in your time as if it was a paid career gig. (Local television news stories will crop up around the holidays showing a retired lady putting in 60 hour weeks for charity - that's a job.) Part of me wants to dive-in, offer to do beyond what was expected - it is in my nature to do so. I wonder if I want to "go there", or continue to keep it light. After all, I need to remain available and focused. One never knows what parts of life can open up a door to another. Keeping options open is important now.  Getting side-tracked seems like the thing to avoid. Yet, I crave to hear a calling for my next big thing.

Fear

Fear is swirling in the air with the yellow leaves around the yard. Fear chills the back of my neck whenever I am reminded that time is ticking and the bank account is emptying. Everything happens for a reason - usually a good, grand-designed reason. Fear must be a byproduct of doubt. Unless it is a flight-or-fight, charging bull fear, it's only manufactured by my logic brain. My practical brain. The part of my brain that likes to reassure my family that we will not be lacking for long. I'm selling bogus hope to hang on to real hope. Blindly reaching for the next rope. It's there somewhere, right?

Got Strength?

I am a fan of strengths. I hope that I always tried to tap into my staff's strenghs. I hope that I tried to identify and work with others'. Mine are:

Strategic

Learner

Input

Connectedness

Significance

I thought that these, for the most part, sounded familiar and that they complimented me. I even wrote a paper about how I had the perfect job to accent them. Turns out that I worked for people who didn't understand how to strategically plan or follow through, My input fell on deaf ears, I did not feel connected to anyone in the end (except for people who used to work for me), and, ironically, they kept telling me that I ran a significant project, but clearly I was not taken seriously. I was hurt, sad, and mad. 
And here I sit.
Did my strengths work against me? Really, If I didn't have to have my head in the plan and feel important about it, would I still have a job?
 << sigh >>
So it's up to me to make these strenghts work for me now.
<< huh >>
Have you inventoried your strengths? I've seen people put them on their resumes (I don't really recommend that),  an indication that everyone seems to be talking in Tom Rath's language. Any Maximizers out there? Wooers?  I could stand to hear from a Empathyer about now.



Woman Found Passed Out in Pile of Boxes

Did I mention that I came home that snowy, blurry day with eleven boxes to unpack? After awhile, I rummaged  through and took out what I thought I'd need - a photo of my kid, a packet of coffee filters, random office supplies that made their way into my possession -  and compressed the rest of the "work related stuff I might need when my career picks up again" into four boxes in the garage.
I wonder... what if the next career job doesn't come? What if I develop a plan b that includes transition time with a part-time job and time to write? Yeah, like a writer (of more than a blog) would?
What will the day look like when I do open those four boxes? A day of excitement as I decorate my new office at my new job? What if it's a day of unbearable defeat as I look at useless tokens of what I once was?
How long can I ignore those boxes before they chase me in my dreams?

Beginning

Ahh, a day to recognize labor.  Important history goes into today, but, really,  we know exactly what to day is all about, eh? Some work, most don't. Some even get paid for having Labor Day off. Some  plan picnics or other late summertime hurrahs. Some shop. Some nap. Some pack up their white shoes. Some buy school supplies.
I don't think that Hallmark has picked up on any labor-day themed greeting cards. But it is a gift-giving holiday, is it not? We give ourselves a break. A rest from the usual. Some find that easy to do, some find it challenging.
Tomorrow is the beginning of fall in a way, the beginning of new routines. I have one: I will light a candle and pray before I apply for jobs. Happy new routine to you!

Wardrobe Personalities

I used to heed that advice, "act like you are going to work". So, the work clothes and shoes should remain in the forefront of my closet, right? I grew tired of being in between wardrobe identities. Well, a few months ago, I decided to let my closet, shoe pile, dresser, and handbag collection reflect the current state of affairs, I'm a no-make-up-wearing mom in the summer and I will see you at the grocery store in lounge wear!
Well, now that fall is in the air, it's time to make that natural wardrobe shift into long sleeves. This means no new heels, no new blouses, no new dress pants. I am entering another season of unemployment clothes - wow.

Resume the Resume Rumba

I used to design resumes for a living. Now I'm questioning mine. dammit. I know, I should keep it fresh, keep refining. It's bad enough I tweak it for each job I am applying for. Okay, okay, I will glance at some resume tips, but I will not spend more than a half-day's time re-working it!

I Did It! (Vodka Helped)

 I attended a work-related function, even though I don't work there. It was a goodbye happy hour for Lola (leaving pursue other avenues - way to go! sock it to 'em!) and even though she'd have understood if I declined, she wanted to include me. The social lion inside me wanted to feel that workplace camaraderie again. The Ms Bitter inside me feared that a drink-in-the face moment just may have to occur (by accident, of course).
I'm happy to report that I had a good time! That VP was not there, and I kept my eye out for Wandering Directors, but none showed up. Mostly, I felt warmth and, surprisingly, empowerment. Whew!

Flight Attendant's Fantastic Final Fanfare

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/10/nyregion/10attendant.html


Well, there is being fired or laid off, and then there is leaving on your own terms! This stressed flight attendant was fueled with that burning anger and passion and he just went with it! Wow, what a way to quit! My favorite part:
Then, after declaring that 20 years in the airline industry was enough, he blurted out, “It’s been great!” He activated the inflatable evacuation slide at a service exit and left the world of flight attending behind.
See ya!

Kick Me

So, at my former workplace, That VP had included me in on a plan for growth once there was some top-executive re-structuring. We were all waiting for the top CEO, a useless, dense - yet somehow complex -  windbag I'll call Race Car Willie.
Rumor mills report of major change: Race Car Willie has burned his pistons, anew CEO was in town, three VPs were exited out of the building and That VP's job just doubled.
The dream plan the move we were pining away for, sans me.  I know this is over-reacting, but I equate it to after a divorce, you've both moved on, but then you learn that your ex is getting married and moving on with another family. ouch! Rip my heart out again, would you?!? I still hate you, and I'd N-E-V-E-R work there again (like you'd even ask, duh)  but, still.

The Good Ones Have Big Signs and Open Before 8:00 am

I think that I am a good garage sale patron. I am. I bring loose change. I greet you and smile. I chat if you are chatting me up. I dismiss a remote inner-voice that says that I am poor because I am shopping in a stranger's garage, lawn, or storage shed. Due to the green movement, reusing is trendy! And Handsome Dude's toys are affordable! Gotta go, it's Thursday and the best ones start on Thursdays!

"So, How's Work?"

Family Reunions can suck. The only other place that you will find such a cross-section of characters that you are somehow involved with is at a workplace. That's ironic - considering this is the one place I will attend where I am most likely have to explain things. Here, you'll get my honesty. There, they'll get a coded, "I lost my job". It's those darn uncles and nosey 2nd cousins who pry for more details. Family Reunions always end. This is doable.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Speaker Today is..."

I was to fly to a distant city and give a big lecture and represent our organization on this date. Well, by now they must have figured out that I'm not coming, and, frankly, that Moxie of the 'Do-Good-Company-That Does-Mediocre' will not be speaking to hundreds today on "How You, Too, Can Do Good".

Take a Little Time to Enjoy the View

Regis is really old. Drew Carey is a yo-yo dieter. Springer and that other chair-throwing show scare me about America's future. The View? I am not enjoying it.
I turn the t.v.on in the morning for news, and keep it on because turning it off is so lonely. Me no likey. I need a schedule. (and I need to understand what is happening on the Bold and the Beautiful). Let's see here, if I were to design a television show...

Moxie Says...

File This!

Tap Into Your Inner Therapist

http://www.businessballs.com/elisabeth_kubler_ross_five_stages_of_grief.htm

Lizzy's famous stages of Grief and Loss:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Well, each travels their own path, eh? I have pitched a tent in number 2, hike in number 4, dodge bolts of number 1, but see the light of number 5. You?

Up in the Air: George Clooney’s Consoling Words

http://www.upintheairmovie.com/
“Try not to take this personally.”
“Anybody that built an empire or changed the word sat where you are right now. And it’s because they sat there they were able to do it. And that’s the truth.”
(I’m pretty sure that if George Clooney had been in my office with me at That Moment, I would have recovered more quickly. )