End in Order to Begin?

After eight months of idleness, I have logged on with the intent of posting a goodbye explanation and shutting down EMPLOYdom. You see, one remains stuck if one holds on to the past. My life will not move 100% forward if the negativity on this blog remains in my realm. Right?

Then I looked at what I created. I put a ton of time into this. As I move on with my pursuit to be a published author, I am busy installing websites and planning tweets. I am clicking and composing and editing.  Do I really want to engage in undoing?

We all know that my name is not Moxie. As I build momentum for publishing, my identity is out there. How would I go about bringing creative attention to this site without revealing the characters mentioned here? (And ruffling feathers that might breed trouble? )

Do I wrap up EMPLOYdom with a short  OPRAH-style exit of a positive mission-carrying-out speech or do I allow mopey Moxie to weigh down my future by dimming my optimism?
Advice? Anyone? Anyone?

Happy Boss's Day!

I should have known something was up when, last year, my boss didn't seem to care much about the Boss's Day card I gave her,and my staff forgot to give one to me. This day used to be fun! Funny card, maybe a lunch or even office supply shenanigans. I guess that I am my own boss now. Shall I tell myself how great I am? How caring, fun, understanding and just plain nice? Your Welcome.

Unemployed and "At Your Service!"

Before unemployment, I was a volunteer for two different organizations. I noticed some volunteers treated it like a job. I did not. Now I can see where volunteering can call you to put in your time as if it was a paid career gig. (Local television news stories will crop up around the holidays showing a retired lady putting in 60 hour weeks for charity - that's a job.) Part of me wants to dive-in, offer to do beyond what was expected - it is in my nature to do so. I wonder if I want to "go there", or continue to keep it light. After all, I need to remain available and focused. One never knows what parts of life can open up a door to another. Keeping options open is important now.  Getting side-tracked seems like the thing to avoid. Yet, I crave to hear a calling for my next big thing.

Fear

Fear is swirling in the air with the yellow leaves around the yard. Fear chills the back of my neck whenever I am reminded that time is ticking and the bank account is emptying. Everything happens for a reason - usually a good, grand-designed reason. Fear must be a byproduct of doubt. Unless it is a flight-or-fight, charging bull fear, it's only manufactured by my logic brain. My practical brain. The part of my brain that likes to reassure my family that we will not be lacking for long. I'm selling bogus hope to hang on to real hope. Blindly reaching for the next rope. It's there somewhere, right?

Got Strength?

I am a fan of strengths. I hope that I always tried to tap into my staff's strenghs. I hope that I tried to identify and work with others'. Mine are:

Strategic

Learner

Input

Connectedness

Significance

I thought that these, for the most part, sounded familiar and that they complimented me. I even wrote a paper about how I had the perfect job to accent them. Turns out that I worked for people who didn't understand how to strategically plan or follow through, My input fell on deaf ears, I did not feel connected to anyone in the end (except for people who used to work for me), and, ironically, they kept telling me that I ran a significant project, but clearly I was not taken seriously. I was hurt, sad, and mad. 
And here I sit.
Did my strengths work against me? Really, If I didn't have to have my head in the plan and feel important about it, would I still have a job?
 << sigh >>
So it's up to me to make these strenghts work for me now.
<< huh >>
Have you inventoried your strengths? I've seen people put them on their resumes (I don't really recommend that),  an indication that everyone seems to be talking in Tom Rath's language. Any Maximizers out there? Wooers?  I could stand to hear from a Empathyer about now.



Woman Found Passed Out in Pile of Boxes

Did I mention that I came home that snowy, blurry day with eleven boxes to unpack? After awhile, I rummaged  through and took out what I thought I'd need - a photo of my kid, a packet of coffee filters, random office supplies that made their way into my possession -  and compressed the rest of the "work related stuff I might need when my career picks up again" into four boxes in the garage.
I wonder... what if the next career job doesn't come? What if I develop a plan b that includes transition time with a part-time job and time to write? Yeah, like a writer (of more than a blog) would?
What will the day look like when I do open those four boxes? A day of excitement as I decorate my new office at my new job? What if it's a day of unbearable defeat as I look at useless tokens of what I once was?
How long can I ignore those boxes before they chase me in my dreams?